Poker is soo rigged

Sometimes I just wish the poker gods would stop kicking me in the junk. Sweet Jebus, lettgo my eggos. I'm starting to think that a group of blindfolded kids are going to run up and pin a tale on me. Hee-Haaa Hee-Haa.

It's rather drastic the swings you can have in the matter of 3-4 hands. Grind, Gind, Grind, start getting a little bored with the grind, loose a decent hand. Clamp back down grind, grind, grind, loose a slightly bigger hand to a donktastic 4-7os when your opponent hits his straight on the river cracking your set. Immediately go on tilt for 3 hands, drop another chunk of your buy-in. Shake yourself out of the funk, grind, grind, grind. Get disgusted that you get no action on any pre-flop raise, and everytime you slowplay a decent hand it gets mauled by the gnashing teeth of a rabid donkey on meth.

Rinse Repeat

Other than that everything has been great. I've been holding my own playing HU (hell if it weren't for the HU games I'd be much much more bitter). I really just cannot believe some of the horrific plays that I see...ok screw that I'm already getting sick of my crying.

Don't forget Heafy (he's a good bloke) and I'd sure like to see him get a good showing for his Honeymoon Classic. After all he's got to wake up at 10 am to play, so you know he's going to be a little sleepy and not at the top of his game.

save me a seat at the final table (hell at this point just save me a seat)

Isn't it about time to get another WPBT event set up? huh? huh? (please god don't let it be H.O.R.S.E)

Heads Up?

It's amazing out of the gazillion online players I think about 12 can play heads-up. I've been running very well playing a combination of HU & short handed NL. The other night I rattled off 6 straight HU wins. I'm not sure why these players think it's a good idea to play HU. They are horrific, clueless, action junkies that don't know anything but raise preflop 3x to 5x the blind on every hand. They have no reason for doing so, they have no idea how to mix things up, the just heard that you are supposed to raise HU. I absolutely LOVE them, they are the clueless masses that fill my coffers.

I played a guy today that raised 3x the blind the first 15 hands, his best hand (that I saw) during the first 15 was A-3os with paint all over the board. I guess he heard Mike Sexton or VVP in his head saying "You have to raise, you have to raise." He would toss out the 3x raise and I would either re-raise him, (getting him to fold) or toss out a pot sized bet on the flop regardless of my hand (getting him to fold). It became laughable, I started showing him every one of my hands after he folded, I'd show him 7-4os with a board of nothing but overs, I'd also mix in showing him the nutz. It drove him crazy. He had no idea what I held at anytime, I even started to tell him what cards I had (this confused him even more).

He then started to try & mix up his play, this proved to be disastrous for his stack.

Midway through the game he started back to his old tricks, with the 3x raise. I re-raised him to 6x...pause, pause, pause..he calls. The flop comes A-4-10 (rainbow) I fire a 1/2 pot sized bet, he calls. Turn is K. 1/2 pot size bet, he calls. River 6, I push. He stalls, so being the nice guy that I am I typed...you missed your hand, you have 2 choices re-raise on a bluff or save yourself the agony & fold. He decides to fold...and being the nice guy that I am I decided to show him J-4os.

Now don't get me wrong I wasn't doing this to be mean, just to illustrate a point that if you are going to play HU have a little variety to your play, mix it up. Don't listen to the donkey voices in your head when they say "you must raise every hand when playing HU"

(editor's note: by no means is this a "I'm the greatest HU player in the world post" far from it.
I ended up losing the above game, all it takes is a well timed suckout by your opponent, to cripple your stack)

save me a seat at the heads up table

My "it's way too early" pick, and holy hell it's been a year?

I wonder how ESPN would like a final table of the WSOP main event filled with unknowns? Not the most riveting TV, but it would be fun to see how they decided to "spin" it. It won't happen. It's still way early to start picking favorites, way too early. (Chip seems due for a big tourney score, sorry Chip I'm pretty sure that's the kiss of death).

If you have been living under the expressway and decided today was the day to rejoin the "race" jump over to the Doc's house to get your updates. He's doing a terrific job keeping everyone informed, providing up to date details on the Redneck Riviera, oh yeah he's also covering some poker tournament thingy too.

Just in case you never understood the whole dwarf thing go visit Iggy he's reposted the birth of the story. (just between you and me.... she is actually a little person and most of you would never guessed not only a little person but a 52 year old housewife to boot, who knew?)

Poker... let's see.... poker ummm..... FT has been kicking me in the junk & PS has been treating me like royalty (card wise that is), and PP is well PP. I have been playing in a few MTT's, I've also found that playing a cheapo HU match while folding the levels away in the MTT is a great way to get your action fix. It fights off the urge to "mix it up" and have some action while letting all the donkeys push all in with Q-7os.

Wow I just realized this hunk of crap is a year old now, sweet jebus (aside from my little break) I've been filling the www with meaningless banter for a year. Bad thing is I really have not found my groove. Ahh screw it. The way I see it is we all can't be brilliant, the world needs ditch diggers too. I will venture out on a limb & set some goals for the next year (in no particular order)

1) play in at least one WSOP event next year
2) find a niche for this rag I call a blog
3) play more live
4) meet at least 3 new bloggers
5) hit the lottery
6) drop the hammer at the final table of the WSOP main event, right before getting assessed a 10 minute penalty for pinching Evelyn Ng's butt...and while serving my penalty calling ACH for a dial-a-shot, low fiving Iggy for putting the entire table on tilt by standing on the good doctor's shoulders (to see over the crowd) and yelling bonus code IGGY dammit while giving the finger to the entire room.

Ok maybe number 5 is a little unrealistic.

Save me a seat at the final table.

We will continue with your regularly scheduled program.....

Hellllooo..tap...tap...tap.....Is this thing on???? I'd like to say that blogger ate all my posts since 5/14/05 but I don't think both of you would buy it.

Yeah it's been awhile, I took a break, a much needed break from poker & blogging. My words were getting stale, my play was getting foolish. Sometimes life gets in the way of your playtime. Blah, blah...

My "vacation" gave me a chance to catch up on some long overdue reading (blogwise & bookwise) damn some of ya'll can spin a yarn. I was starting to get bored, not paying attention, playing bad cards etc. (you really should re-evaluate your play when you get into a hand your opponent pushes out a big bet and you start wondering why you even called the blind). I started playing like a donkey, it was such a jopke.

I did manage to pick up a couple of books Harrington on Hold'em and another book that was a gift. Funny thing about the lady that rang me up, she scanned both books and did a double take on the total. She half said under her breath that's not right. She flipped over the books and looked for the prices on the cover.

"It should be mid 50's" I said.
"Oh yeah that's right ALL HIS books are expensive" as she pointed to the Harrington.

I guess poker is the "IT" thing cuz everybody knows something about it. Is there some big tournament going on or something?

Save me a seat at the final table.