I am always right & how not to keep a fish in the game

This is fairly long but, it has some funny table talk, and some good points about berating a bad player.

You know it's going to be a good session when a blogger's first hand goes like this...

$25 NL Hold'em
Dealt to Uwannabet? [ 2h 7d ]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 6d, 3h, 4c ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 2d ]
** Dealing River ** [ Qh ]
Uwannabet? shows [ 2h, 7d ] a pair of twos.
Uwannabet? wins $2.85 from the main pot with a pair of twos.

I couldn't play it the way I'd wanted to, but it's still a hammer win. (technically)
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Seat 6 posts small blind [$0.25].
Seat 7 posts big blind [$0.5].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Uwannabet? [ Kh As ]
Seat 8 calls [$0.5].
Seat 9 calls [$0.5].
Uwannabet? calls [$0.5].
Seat 1 folds.
Seat 2 folds.
Seat 3 calls [$0.5].
Seat 4 folds.
Seat 5 folds.
Seat 6 folds.
Seat 7 checks.
** Dealing Flop ** [ 3s, Qs, Th ]
Seat 7 checks.
Seat 9 checks.
Uwannabet? checks.
Seat 3 checks.
** Dealing Turn ** [ Ks ]
Seat 7 checks.
Seat 9 checks.
Uwannabet? checks.
Seat 3 checks.
** Dealing River ** [ 6s ]
Seat 7 checks.
Seat 8 bets [$0.5].
Uwannabet? is all-In [$20.05]
Seat 3 folds.
Seat 7 folds.
Seat 8 folds.
Uwannabet? does not show cards.
Uwannabet? wins $22.65

Seat 8: 20$ bet into to 2$ pot
Seat 8 good bet buddy
Uwannabet?: thanks, you gonna call any raise??? No I didn't think so.
Seat 8 I play my cards buddy keep raisn
Uwannabet?: you're the king I'm sorry
Seat 8 did I say that? no
Seat 8: you just made a sily bet
Uwannabet? you mean that huge overbet didn't look like a purchase??
Uwannabet?: what were you betting on freddy? (Seat 8)
Uwannabet?: 6's?
Seat 8: 5's

I love getting playing tips from from people at the table. I figured to get no action on any raise with this pot & especially since the table was soooooo tight, why not way overbet and hope someone thought I was looking to buy it.
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This started a short while later on the same table Mr.Fishy is raising every hand & betting with second pair, top pair terrible kicker etc. So Mr.Knowitall decides to give everyone his two cents..

Uwannabet?: damn Mr.Fishy quit raising when i have j-2 os
Mr.Knowitall: why, you planning on limping with it?
Uwannabet?: yep exactly
Mr.Knowitall: lol. i love fish
Uwannabet?: by the way good chase earlier Mr.Knowitall
(Mr.Knowitall, limped into the pot with 3-4 os and chased the inside straight draw for two bets)

Mr.Knowitall: no problem.
Mr.Knowitall: but i still won't limp with j 2
Uwannabet?: i don't either
Uwannabet?: at least j-4, lol

a few hands later Mr.Knowitall limps in again.....

Uwannabet?: & Mr.Knowitall gave me a hard time about limping into pots
Mr.Knowitall: A,5 suited is a whoel lot different from j2 o
Mr.Knowitall: and i had position
Uwannabet?: a limp is a limp
Uwannabet?: & when have you seen me limp with J-2 offsuit???
Mr.Knowitall: you were the one talking about it.
Mr.Knowitall: i just read what you typed
Uwannabet?: it was a joke
Mr.Knowitall: well, i got to the table right then
Uwannabet?: why do you gotta be so mean Mr.Knowitall? we were just having fun
Mr.Knowitall: and if you're hurt because i called you a fish when you said you wanted to limp with that bs, too bad
Uwannabet?: yes i'm hurt deeply
Mr.Knowitall: i hope you guys are getting some professional help
Uwannabet?: you wouldn't be Gary Carson would you??

(obviously not but I wanted to see if Mr.Knowitall even knew who he was, plus his chat was so acidic I figured why not give him a good poke or two)

Mr.Knowitall: very insecure
Mr.Knowitall: hmmm, gary XXX or gary carson? tough one
Uwannabet?: oh i'm sorry everyone uses their real name here
mikmak: mikmak is actually my legal name

** Dealing down cards **
Mr.Knowitall raises [$1.5].
Mr.Fishy calls [$1.25].
** Dealing Flop ** [ 7s, 7c, 8c ]
Mr.Fishy checks.
Mr.Knowitall checks.
** Dealing Turn ** [ Qc ]
Mr.Fishy bets [$5].
Mr.Knowitall is all-In [$38.55]
Mr.Fishy is all-In [$22.4]
** Dealing River ** [ 7h ]
Mr.Fishy shows [ 3s, Qd ] a full house, Sevens full of queens.
Mr.Knowitall shows [ Jc, Ac ] a flush, ace high.
Mr.Knowitall wins $11.15 from side pot #1 with a flush, ace high.
Mr.Fishy wins $56.85 from the main pot with a full house, Sevens full of queens.

Mr.Fishy: too many in a row
Mr.Knowitall: you're an idiot. everytime i've had monsters
Mr.Knowitall: did you look at that?
** Dealing Flop ** [ Qh, Qc, Kh ]
Mr.Fishy: idiot
Mr.Fishy: that was rude
** Dealing Turn ** [ 3c ]
Mr.Knowitall: well, you are
Uwannabet? is all-In [$59.48]
Mr.Fishy: sounds like someone lost a big hand
Mr.Knowitall folds.
Mr.Fishy folds.
Mr.Knowitall: sounds like someone trying to justify shit play
Mr.Fishy: who lost
Uwannabet? does not show cards.
Uwannabet? wins $64.58
Uwannabet?:phil ivey would have called
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Mr.Knowitall: first time, i had 2 pair. second, bet out first with kings on the board. obviously had a king
Mr.Knowitall: and third bet out with the nut flush

Mr.Fishy: do want all of us to talk about evrey hand we had

mikmak: this one time at poker camp ...

Mr.Knowitall: i'm just letting you know that your reasoning was retarded
Mr.Knowitall: if you want to call my all in's with a 3 kicker, go for it
Mr.Fishy: thank you, i will ask you next time
Uwannabet?: Sorry Mr.Fishy I must agree with Mr.Knowitall on that hand

Mr.Fishy: i had top pair idiot
Mr.Knowitall: with a flush, with a 3 kicker
Mr.Knowitall:3 kicker, you know how weak that is? the board was paired too.
Mr.Knowitall: you're just making yourself sound dumber
Mr.Fishy: Mr.Knowitall you are so good why did you lose
Mr.Knowitall: "i had top pair" famous last words uttered by every rere that ever hit the tables
Uwannabet?:can't we all just get along?

Mr.Fishy: it will be all right Mr.Knowitall
Mr.Knowitall: like i said MrFishy, everything you say makes you sound dumber
Mr.Knowitall: why did you lose if you're so good."
Mr.Knowitall: hmmm, cause you got lucky
Mr.Fishy: how is that lucky
Mr.Fishy: i called your bluff
Mr.Knowitall: you caught you're 5 outer
Mr.Knowitall:there were 5 cards in the deck to help you. you called $20
Mr.Knowitall: and i'm the idiot?
Mr.Fishy: i guess being stupid pays
Mr.Knowitall: i'm still talking about your Q3 hand.
Mr.Fishy: Mr.Knowitall i dont care
Mr.Knowitall: then stfu
Mr.Fishy: that hurt
Uwannabet?: lol
Mr.Knowitall: i don't care
NiceMilitaryGuy: does anyone care??
Uwannabet?: good point NiceMilitaryGuy
Mr.Fishy: here it comes
Mr.Knowitall: what? i never fault anyone for bluffing.
Mr.Fishy: pipe it Mr.Knowitall

Uwannabet?: this is as funny as Jerry Springer
Mr.Fishy: Mr.Knowitall where are all you chips?
Mr.Knowitall: Mr.Fishy’s been on that show like 4 times
Mr.Fishy: Mr.Knowitall, again where are all your chips
Mr.Knowitall: well, i have more than the max buy-in. i don't know what answer you're looking for

(Mr.Knowitall has 1 full rebuy, and 2 partial rebuys under his belt at this point)

Mr.Fishy: how about my stack
Uwannabet?: min raises make baby jesus cry
Mr.Knowitall: how about it?
Mr.Fishy: i think they are your chips
Mr.Knowitall: wow, you caught an 8 to 1 shot, and think that you can taunt me with it?
Mr.Fishy: again, where are your chips
Mr.Knowitall: there's nothing you can say to convince me that your iq is over 75
Mr.Knowitall: you keep repeating yourself. sounds like a rere
Mr.Fishy: its not, where are your chips
Sunfish: "rere"?
Mr.Knowitall: really retarded
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Mr.Knowitall: haha, 4 fociing kicker
Mr.Knowitall: you're really good
Mr.Knowitall: where are all your chips rere?
Mr.Knowitall: dumbass, letting your emotions control your game
Mr.Knowitall: idiot
Uwannabet?: phil ivey would call
Mr.Knowitall: calling 1.5 preflop with Q4
Mr.Knowitall: i love it
Mr.Knowitall: tell me how you're not an idiot again?
Mr.Knowitall: aww Mr.Fishy, where are all your chips?
Uwannabet?: wow MrKnowitall you really are clueless
Mr.Knowitall: moi?
Uwannabet?: yep
Uwannabet?: & you should know why
Mr.Knowitall: ok, i'll just have to take your word for it.
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NiceMilitaryGuy: It would be funny if we were all looking at each other face to face...
Uwannabet?: that would be great
NiceMilitaryGuy: I think I'm the only one here with combat experience
NiceMilitaryGuy: I could be wrong
RandomDude: if we were there would be a brawl
Uwannabet?: nope
Mr.Knowitall: i doubt it.
NiceMilitaryGuy: I know...we could bet on that too
Uwannabet?: 1/2 of the BS would never be said
Mr.Fishy: true
MrKnowitall: i think most people would stfu around me. i don't fight. but i am pretty big
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Mr.Knowitall: can someone ask Mr.Fishy where all his chips are at?
Uwannabet?: dumb ass
Mr.Knowitall: yeah. ok
MrKnowitall:the last time i looked he had $20
Mr.Knowitall: i'm just curious.
Uwannabet?: funny you talk bs & you're still down for the session
Mr.Knowitall: but have i made any mistakes?
Uwannabet?: you're making one right now
Mr.Knowitall: which is..

Uwannabet?: you're too busy being right, & killing the action
Uwannabet?: clueless
Uwannabet?: nobody is having fun now, we used to have good times
Mr.Knowitall: i could care less
Mr.Knowitall: you could always go to a table i'm not at
Mr.Fishy: had to eat crow for a few hands
Uwannabet?: it's good with hot sauce
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Mr.Fishy: .50 tables dont help my game
Uwannabet?: most of the games here won't
Uwannabet?: you should read every poker book you can & play a lot

Mr.Knowitall raises [$1.5].
NiceMilitaryGuy calls [$1.25].
Dot raises [$6.5].
Mr.Knowitall folds.
Dot does not show cards.
Dot wins $11.5
Uwannabet?: 3xBB raise is old school
Mr.Knowitall: i'm tired of your focking comments after everything.
Uwannabet?: then leave
Mr.Fishy: then shut up
Mr.Knowitall: haha... you guys are too easy to rile up
Uwannabet?: i thought we were friends Mr.Knowitall?
Mr.Fishy: haha
Mr.Knowitall: Mr.Fishy jumps in like douchebag
Mr.Knowitall: where's all your chips Mr.Fishy?
Mr.Knowitall: haha, not all of them, i'm not the only one that you play dumb against
Uwannabet?:MrKnowitall has a plan to put everyone on "tilt"
Mr.Knowitall: i could care less how you all play.
Uwannabet?: you just want to be right
Mr.Knowitall: well, it doesn't hurt my cause that i am
Uwannabet?: yeah berating a player is always a good move
Uwannabet?: definitely -EV

* Dealing down cards **
Dot calls [$0.5].
Mr.Knowitall raises [$1].
Mr.Fishy calls [$0.75].
Dot calls [$0.5].
** Dealing Flop ** [ Kc, Kh, Td ]
Mr.Fishy checks.
Dott bets [$2].
Mr.Knowitall calls [$2].
Mr.Fishy folds.
** Dealing Turn ** [ 2h ]
Dot bets [$3].
Mr.Knowitall calls [$3].
** Dealing River ** [ 5s ]
Dot bets [$4].
Mr.Fishy: nh
Mr.Knowitall is all-In [$39.05]
Mr.Knowitall: ty
Mr.Fishy: dot
Mr.Knowitall: yeah right
Dot: ghmm
Dot is all-In [$33.15]
Dot shows [ Ks, Qs ] three of a kind, kings.
Mr.Knowitall shows [ Tc, Th ] a full house, Tens full of kings.
Mr.Knowitall wins $1.9 from side pot #1 with a full house, Tens full of kings.
Mr.Knowitall wins $84.8 from the main pot with a full house, Tens full of kings.



Mr.Knowitall: you guys never learn. i even tell you that i go all in with monsters
Sunfish: thats interesting
Mr.Knowitall: can't fault the call though
Mr.Fishy: your sooooooooo good
Mr.Knowitall: it's "you are"
Mr.Knowitall: but yeah, i am
Sunfish: you guys can drop the act now
Mr.Knowitall: act?
Sunfish: one of you always drops out when others are in the pot.
Mr.Knowitall: who are you talking about?
Mr.Fishy: hope its not me
Mr.Knowitall: Mr.Fishy, they're on to us.
Mr.Fishy: haha
Mr.Knowitall: we should probably leave now
Mr.Knowitall: i take it you just got to the table sunfish?
Mr.Fishy: i wish, i want my money back
Mr.Fishy: its not about the $, i just want to beat you
Mr.Knowitall: well, good luck to you. people have been trying for years
Mr.Fishy: thats why your on a small table
Mr.Knowitall: yup. had too many friends go into major debt.
Mr.Knowitall: i'd rather grind it out
Uwannabet?: Sunfish you think they are colluding?
Mr.Knowitall: i like how he makes accusations and then clams up after he realizes how dumb he sounds
Mr.Fishy: pipe it gary
Sunfish: they showed a LOT of action against each other.
Sunfish: when someone else shows action , one of them always dropped out.
Uwannabet?: interesting
Mr.Fishy: you missed the show



Mr.Fishy: Mr.Knowitall is tight player but i will get him

Mr.Knowitall: you're welcome to try, but you've only got another half hour or so
Mr.Knowitall: hey sunchip, wanna leave the table instead just taking up space?
Sunfish: glad to
Mr.Fishy: why do you do that Mr.Knowitall
Mr.Knowitall: well, he was sitting out.
Mr.Knowitall: taking up space.

Mr.Fishy calls [$0.5].
Mr.Knowitall checks.
** Dealing Flop ** [ 2c, 6h, Jc ]
Mr.Knowitall checks.
Mr.Fishy bets [$2].
Mr.Knowitall is all-In [$84.85]
Mr.Fishy is all-In [$17.9]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 9d ]
** Dealing River ** [ 3h ]
Mr.Fishy shows [ 6d, Js ] two pairs, jacks and sixes.
Mr.Knowitall shows [ 2d, Jd ] two pairs, jacks and twos.
Mr.Knowitall wins $64.95 from side pot #1 with two pairs, jacks and twos.
Mr.Fishy wins $39.25 from the main pot with two pairs, jacks and sixes.
Uwannabet?: j-2 vs. j-6 pretty funny
Mr.Knowitall: well, i actually have an excuse. bb
Mr.Knowitall: why the fock did you play j6 o?
Mr.Knowitall: i mean besides the fact that 6 of diamonds is the best card in the deck

Uwannabet?: playing lessons part 54362626 of 1032455649873

Uwannabet? posts small blind [$0.25].
Dealt to Uwannabet? [ 2d Ad ]
RandomDude calls [$0.5].
Uwannabet? calls [$0.25].
** Dealing Flop ** [ 6s, As, Ah ]
Uwannabet? checks.

RandomDude bets [$4].
Uwannabet? calls [$4].
** Dealing Turn ** [ 2c ]
Uwannabet? checks.
RandomDude bets [$5].
Uwannabet? is all-In [$57.78]
RandomDude is all-In [$12]
** Dealing River ** [ Kc ]
RandomDude shows [ Ac, Jd ] three of a kind, aces.
Uwannabet? shows [ 2d, Ad ] a full house, Aces full of twos.
Uwannabet? wins $40.78 from side pot #1 with a full house, Aces full of twos.
Uwannabet? wins $42.75 from the main pot with a full house, Aces full of twos.


Uwannabet?: thought i was in kicker trouble
Mr.Fishy: Uwannabet? your chips are growing
Uwannabet?: i watered them
Mr.Fishy: haha
Uwannabet?: actually just got lucky against a better hand
RandonDude: how long have you two been going out?
Uwannabet?: hmm RandomDude you know Mr.Knowitall?
Mr.Knowitall: texas is pretty big mister
Uwannabet?: i meant from the witty response, but thanks for the geography lesson
Mr.Knowitall: no problem. on the house
Uwannabet?: lol thanks sooo much
Mr.Knowitall: you're welcome. please don't thank me anymore.
Uwannabet?: ty
Uwannabet?:oh sorry
Uwannabet?: but you're my hero Mr.Knowitall

Mr.Fishy raises [$4].
Mr.Knowitall calls [$3.75].
** Dealing Flop ** [ Qc, 8s, 9s ]
Mr.Knowitall checks.
Mr.Fishy bets [$5].
Mr.Knowitall is all-In [$54.45]
Mr.Fishy is all-In [$23.95]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 7d ]
** Dealing River ** [ 8d ]
Mr.Fishy shows [ As, Qh ] two pairs, queens and eights.
Mr.Knowitall shows [ Jd, Jh ] two pairs, jacks and eights.
Mr.Knowitall wins $25.5 from side pot #1 with two pairs, jacks and eights.
Mr.Fishy wins $63.9 from the main pot with two pairs, queens and eights.
Mr.Fishy: Mr.Knowitall was that a good call?

NiceMilitaryGuy wins $10.45 from the main pot with a straight, ten to ace.
NiceMilitaryGuy: it is about damn time!!!!
Uwannabet?: few & far between today?

Random Dude: tissue?
Uwannabet?: jackass?
Uwannabet?: Mr.Knowitall why would you want to berate someone that is giving that much action?

And the good Doctor swings by for a visit.......

DrPauly nice stack Uwannabet?
Mr.Knowitall: on tilt. just blew $60 at another table
Mr.Knowitall: set vs set
Uwannabet?: thanks Pauly
DrPauly Mr.Knowitall is on tilt? maybe i should sit
Mr.Knowitall: yeah. but i'm about to leave
Uwannabet?: he's ABC player
Uwannabet?: so Mr.Knowitall why would you want to chase fish away?
Mr.Knowitall: i didn't chase him away
Uwannabet?: but yelling at him only makes the cash leave
Uwannabet?: why chase off a fish? makes no sense
Mr.Knowitall: are you still asking the same focking question
Uwannabet?: yes
Mr.Knowitall: I DIDN'T CHASE HIM OFF!!!!!
Uwannabet?: but you could have
Mr.Knowitall: but i didn't. you could have stfu 10 minutes ago, but you didn't.
Uwannabet?: you play better than him so why risk him leaving?
Mr.Knowitall: i didn't risk XXXX. i do this all the time and no one has ever left

Net sum for the session, I more than triple up, Mr.Fishy triples up, Mr.Knowitall -2 plus buyins.
But at least he was never wrong. Why chase a fish when he is going to pay off your good hands, it just makes no sense.

save me a seat at the final table.