I am always right & how not to keep a fish in the game

This is fairly long but, it has some funny table talk, and some good points about berating a bad player.

You know it's going to be a good session when a blogger's first hand goes like this...

$25 NL Hold'em
Dealt to Uwannabet? [ 2h 7d ]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 6d, 3h, 4c ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 2d ]
** Dealing River ** [ Qh ]
Uwannabet? shows [ 2h, 7d ] a pair of twos.
Uwannabet? wins $2.85 from the main pot with a pair of twos.

I couldn't play it the way I'd wanted to, but it's still a hammer win. (technically)

Seat 6 posts small blind [$0.25].
Seat 7 posts big blind [$0.5].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Uwannabet? [ Kh As ]
Seat 8 calls [$0.5].
Seat 9 calls [$0.5].
Uwannabet? calls [$0.5].
Seat 1 folds.
Seat 2 folds.
Seat 3 calls [$0.5].
Seat 4 folds.
Seat 5 folds.
Seat 6 folds.
Seat 7 checks.
** Dealing Flop ** [ 3s, Qs, Th ]
Seat 7 checks.
Seat 9 checks.
Uwannabet? checks.
Seat 3 checks.
** Dealing Turn ** [ Ks ]
Seat 7 checks.
Seat 9 checks.
Uwannabet? checks.
Seat 3 checks.
** Dealing River ** [ 6s ]
Seat 7 checks.
Seat 8 bets [$0.5].
Uwannabet? is all-In [$20.05]
Seat 3 folds.
Seat 7 folds.
Seat 8 folds.
Uwannabet? does not show cards.
Uwannabet? wins $22.65

Seat 8: 20$ bet into to 2$ pot
Seat 8 good bet buddy
Uwannabet?: thanks, you gonna call any raise??? No I didn't think so.
Seat 8 I play my cards buddy keep raisn
Uwannabet?: you're the king I'm sorry
Seat 8 did I say that? no
Seat 8: you just made a sily bet
Uwannabet? you mean that huge overbet didn't look like a purchase??
Uwannabet?: what were you betting on freddy? (Seat 8)
Uwannabet?: 6's?
Seat 8: 5's

I love getting playing tips from from people at the table. I figured to get no action on any raise with this pot & especially since the table was soooooo tight, why not way overbet and hope someone thought I was looking to buy it.

This started a short while later on the same table Mr.Fishy is raising every hand & betting with second pair, top pair terrible kicker etc. So Mr.Knowitall decides to give everyone his two cents..

Uwannabet?: damn Mr.Fishy quit raising when i have j-2 os
Mr.Knowitall: why, you planning on limping with it?
Uwannabet?: yep exactly
Mr.Knowitall: lol. i love fish
Uwannabet?: by the way good chase earlier Mr.Knowitall
(Mr.Knowitall, limped into the pot with 3-4 os and chased the inside straight draw for two bets)

Mr.Knowitall: no problem.
Mr.Knowitall: but i still won't limp with j 2
Uwannabet?: i don't either
Uwannabet?: at least j-4, lol

a few hands later Mr.Knowitall limps in again.....

Uwannabet?: & Mr.Knowitall gave me a hard time about limping into pots
Mr.Knowitall: A,5 suited is a whoel lot different from j2 o
Mr.Knowitall: and i had position
Uwannabet?: a limp is a limp
Uwannabet?: & when have you seen me limp with J-2 offsuit???
Mr.Knowitall: you were the one talking about it.
Mr.Knowitall: i just read what you typed
Uwannabet?: it was a joke
Mr.Knowitall: well, i got to the table right then
Uwannabet?: why do you gotta be so mean Mr.Knowitall? we were just having fun
Mr.Knowitall: and if you're hurt because i called you a fish when you said you wanted to limp with that bs, too bad
Uwannabet?: yes i'm hurt deeply
Mr.Knowitall: i hope you guys are getting some professional help
Uwannabet?: you wouldn't be Gary Carson would you??

(obviously not but I wanted to see if Mr.Knowitall even knew who he was, plus his chat was so acidic I figured why not give him a good poke or two)

Mr.Knowitall: very insecure
Mr.Knowitall: hmmm, gary XXX or gary carson? tough one
Uwannabet?: oh i'm sorry everyone uses their real name here
mikmak: mikmak is actually my legal name

** Dealing down cards **
Mr.Knowitall raises [$1.5].
Mr.Fishy calls [$1.25].
** Dealing Flop ** [ 7s, 7c, 8c ]
Mr.Fishy checks.
Mr.Knowitall checks.
** Dealing Turn ** [ Qc ]
Mr.Fishy bets [$5].
Mr.Knowitall is all-In [$38.55]
Mr.Fishy is all-In [$22.4]
** Dealing River ** [ 7h ]
Mr.Fishy shows [ 3s, Qd ] a full house, Sevens full of queens.
Mr.Knowitall shows [ Jc, Ac ] a flush, ace high.
Mr.Knowitall wins $11.15 from side pot #1 with a flush, ace high.
Mr.Fishy wins $56.85 from the main pot with a full house, Sevens full of queens.

Mr.Fishy: too many in a row
Mr.Knowitall: you're an idiot. everytime i've had monsters
Mr.Knowitall: did you look at that?
** Dealing Flop ** [ Qh, Qc, Kh ]
Mr.Fishy: idiot
Mr.Fishy: that was rude
** Dealing Turn ** [ 3c ]
Mr.Knowitall: well, you are
Uwannabet? is all-In [$59.48]
Mr.Fishy: sounds like someone lost a big hand
Mr.Knowitall folds.
Mr.Fishy folds.
Mr.Knowitall: sounds like someone trying to justify shit play
Mr.Fishy: who lost
Uwannabet? does not show cards.
Uwannabet? wins $64.58
Uwannabet?:phil ivey would have called

Mr.Knowitall: first time, i had 2 pair. second, bet out first with kings on the board. obviously had a king
Mr.Knowitall: and third bet out with the nut flush

Mr.Fishy: do want all of us to talk about evrey hand we had

mikmak: this one time at poker camp ...

Mr.Knowitall: i'm just letting you know that your reasoning was retarded
Mr.Knowitall: if you want to call my all in's with a 3 kicker, go for it
Mr.Fishy: thank you, i will ask you next time
Uwannabet?: Sorry Mr.Fishy I must agree with Mr.Knowitall on that hand

Mr.Fishy: i had top pair idiot
Mr.Knowitall: with a flush, with a 3 kicker
Mr.Knowitall:3 kicker, you know how weak that is? the board was paired too.
Mr.Knowitall: you're just making yourself sound dumber
Mr.Fishy: Mr.Knowitall you are so good why did you lose
Mr.Knowitall: "i had top pair" famous last words uttered by every rere that ever hit the tables
Uwannabet?:can't we all just get along?

Mr.Fishy: it will be all right Mr.Knowitall
Mr.Knowitall: like i said MrFishy, everything you say makes you sound dumber
Mr.Knowitall: why did you lose if you're so good."
Mr.Knowitall: hmmm, cause you got lucky
Mr.Fishy: how is that lucky
Mr.Fishy: i called your bluff
Mr.Knowitall: you caught you're 5 outer
Mr.Knowitall:there were 5 cards in the deck to help you. you called $20
Mr.Knowitall: and i'm the idiot?
Mr.Fishy: i guess being stupid pays
Mr.Knowitall: i'm still talking about your Q3 hand.
Mr.Fishy: Mr.Knowitall i dont care
Mr.Knowitall: then stfu
Mr.Fishy: that hurt
Uwannabet?: lol
Mr.Knowitall: i don't care
NiceMilitaryGuy: does anyone care??
Uwannabet?: good point NiceMilitaryGuy
Mr.Fishy: here it comes
Mr.Knowitall: what? i never fault anyone for bluffing.
Mr.Fishy: pipe it Mr.Knowitall

Uwannabet?: this is as funny as Jerry Springer
Mr.Fishy: Mr.Knowitall where are all you chips?
Mr.Knowitall: Mr.Fishy’s been on that show like 4 times
Mr.Fishy: Mr.Knowitall, again where are all your chips
Mr.Knowitall: well, i have more than the max buy-in. i don't know what answer you're looking for

(Mr.Knowitall has 1 full rebuy, and 2 partial rebuys under his belt at this point)

Mr.Fishy: how about my stack
Uwannabet?: min raises make baby jesus cry
Mr.Knowitall: how about it?
Mr.Fishy: i think they are your chips
Mr.Knowitall: wow, you caught an 8 to 1 shot, and think that you can taunt me with it?
Mr.Fishy: again, where are your chips
Mr.Knowitall: there's nothing you can say to convince me that your iq is over 75
Mr.Knowitall: you keep repeating yourself. sounds like a rere
Mr.Fishy: its not, where are your chips
Sunfish: "rere"?
Mr.Knowitall: really retarded

Mr.Knowitall: haha, 4 fociing kicker
Mr.Knowitall: you're really good
Mr.Knowitall: where are all your chips rere?
Mr.Knowitall: dumbass, letting your emotions control your game
Mr.Knowitall: idiot
Uwannabet?: phil ivey would call
Mr.Knowitall: calling 1.5 preflop with Q4
Mr.Knowitall: i love it
Mr.Knowitall: tell me how you're not an idiot again?
Mr.Knowitall: aww Mr.Fishy, where are all your chips?
Uwannabet?: wow MrKnowitall you really are clueless
Mr.Knowitall: moi?
Uwannabet?: yep
Uwannabet?: & you should know why
Mr.Knowitall: ok, i'll just have to take your word for it.

NiceMilitaryGuy: It would be funny if we were all looking at each other face to face...
Uwannabet?: that would be great
NiceMilitaryGuy: I think I'm the only one here with combat experience
NiceMilitaryGuy: I could be wrong
RandomDude: if we were there would be a brawl
Uwannabet?: nope
Mr.Knowitall: i doubt it.
NiceMilitaryGuy: I know...we could bet on that too
Uwannabet?: 1/2 of the BS would never be said
Mr.Fishy: true
MrKnowitall: i think most people would stfu around me. i don't fight. but i am pretty big
Mr.Knowitall: can someone ask Mr.Fishy where all his chips are at?
Uwannabet?: dumb ass
Mr.Knowitall: yeah. ok
MrKnowitall:the last time i looked he had $20
Mr.Knowitall: i'm just curious.
Uwannabet?: funny you talk bs & you're still down for the session
Mr.Knowitall: but have i made any mistakes?
Uwannabet?: you're making one right now
Mr.Knowitall: which is..

Uwannabet?: you're too busy being right, & killing the action
Uwannabet?: clueless
Uwannabet?: nobody is having fun now, we used to have good times
Mr.Knowitall: i could care less
Mr.Knowitall: you could always go to a table i'm not at
Mr.Fishy: had to eat crow for a few hands
Uwannabet?: it's good with hot sauce
Mr.Fishy: .50 tables dont help my game
Uwannabet?: most of the games here won't
Uwannabet?: you should read every poker book you can & play a lot

Mr.Knowitall raises [$1.5].
NiceMilitaryGuy calls [$1.25].
Dot raises [$6.5].
Mr.Knowitall folds.
Dot does not show cards.
Dot wins $11.5
Uwannabet?: 3xBB raise is old school
Mr.Knowitall: i'm tired of your focking comments after everything.
Uwannabet?: then leave
Mr.Fishy: then shut up
Mr.Knowitall: haha... you guys are too easy to rile up
Uwannabet?: i thought we were friends Mr.Knowitall?
Mr.Fishy: haha
Mr.Knowitall: Mr.Fishy jumps in like douchebag
Mr.Knowitall: where's all your chips Mr.Fishy?
Mr.Knowitall: haha, not all of them, i'm not the only one that you play dumb against
Uwannabet?:MrKnowitall has a plan to put everyone on "tilt"
Mr.Knowitall: i could care less how you all play.
Uwannabet?: you just want to be right
Mr.Knowitall: well, it doesn't hurt my cause that i am
Uwannabet?: yeah berating a player is always a good move
Uwannabet?: definitely -EV

* Dealing down cards **
Dot calls [$0.5].
Mr.Knowitall raises [$1].
Mr.Fishy calls [$0.75].
Dot calls [$0.5].
** Dealing Flop ** [ Kc, Kh, Td ]
Mr.Fishy checks.
Dott bets [$2].
Mr.Knowitall calls [$2].
Mr.Fishy folds.
** Dealing Turn ** [ 2h ]
Dot bets [$3].
Mr.Knowitall calls [$3].
** Dealing River ** [ 5s ]
Dot bets [$4].
Mr.Fishy: nh
Mr.Knowitall is all-In [$39.05]
Mr.Knowitall: ty
Mr.Fishy: dot
Mr.Knowitall: yeah right
Dot: ghmm
Dot is all-In [$33.15]
Dot shows [ Ks, Qs ] three of a kind, kings.
Mr.Knowitall shows [ Tc, Th ] a full house, Tens full of kings.
Mr.Knowitall wins $1.9 from side pot #1 with a full house, Tens full of kings.
Mr.Knowitall wins $84.8 from the main pot with a full house, Tens full of kings.

Mr.Knowitall: you guys never learn. i even tell you that i go all in with monsters
Sunfish: thats interesting
Mr.Knowitall: can't fault the call though
Mr.Fishy: your sooooooooo good
Mr.Knowitall: it's "you are"
Mr.Knowitall: but yeah, i am
Sunfish: you guys can drop the act now
Mr.Knowitall: act?
Sunfish: one of you always drops out when others are in the pot.
Mr.Knowitall: who are you talking about?
Mr.Fishy: hope its not me
Mr.Knowitall: Mr.Fishy, they're on to us.
Mr.Fishy: haha
Mr.Knowitall: we should probably leave now
Mr.Knowitall: i take it you just got to the table sunfish?
Mr.Fishy: i wish, i want my money back
Mr.Fishy: its not about the $, i just want to beat you
Mr.Knowitall: well, good luck to you. people have been trying for years
Mr.Fishy: thats why your on a small table
Mr.Knowitall: yup. had too many friends go into major debt.
Mr.Knowitall: i'd rather grind it out
Uwannabet?: Sunfish you think they are colluding?
Mr.Knowitall: i like how he makes accusations and then clams up after he realizes how dumb he sounds
Mr.Fishy: pipe it gary
Sunfish: they showed a LOT of action against each other.
Sunfish: when someone else shows action , one of them always dropped out.
Uwannabet?: interesting
Mr.Fishy: you missed the show

Mr.Fishy: Mr.Knowitall is tight player but i will get him

Mr.Knowitall: you're welcome to try, but you've only got another half hour or so
Mr.Knowitall: hey sunchip, wanna leave the table instead just taking up space?
Sunfish: glad to
Mr.Fishy: why do you do that Mr.Knowitall
Mr.Knowitall: well, he was sitting out.
Mr.Knowitall: taking up space.

Mr.Fishy calls [$0.5].
Mr.Knowitall checks.
** Dealing Flop ** [ 2c, 6h, Jc ]
Mr.Knowitall checks.
Mr.Fishy bets [$2].
Mr.Knowitall is all-In [$84.85]
Mr.Fishy is all-In [$17.9]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 9d ]
** Dealing River ** [ 3h ]
Mr.Fishy shows [ 6d, Js ] two pairs, jacks and sixes.
Mr.Knowitall shows [ 2d, Jd ] two pairs, jacks and twos.
Mr.Knowitall wins $64.95 from side pot #1 with two pairs, jacks and twos.
Mr.Fishy wins $39.25 from the main pot with two pairs, jacks and sixes.
Uwannabet?: j-2 vs. j-6 pretty funny
Mr.Knowitall: well, i actually have an excuse. bb
Mr.Knowitall: why the fock did you play j6 o?
Mr.Knowitall: i mean besides the fact that 6 of diamonds is the best card in the deck

Uwannabet?: playing lessons part 54362626 of 1032455649873

Uwannabet? posts small blind [$0.25].
Dealt to Uwannabet? [ 2d Ad ]
RandomDude calls [$0.5].
Uwannabet? calls [$0.25].
** Dealing Flop ** [ 6s, As, Ah ]
Uwannabet? checks.

RandomDude bets [$4].
Uwannabet? calls [$4].
** Dealing Turn ** [ 2c ]
Uwannabet? checks.
RandomDude bets [$5].
Uwannabet? is all-In [$57.78]
RandomDude is all-In [$12]
** Dealing River ** [ Kc ]
RandomDude shows [ Ac, Jd ] three of a kind, aces.
Uwannabet? shows [ 2d, Ad ] a full house, Aces full of twos.
Uwannabet? wins $40.78 from side pot #1 with a full house, Aces full of twos.
Uwannabet? wins $42.75 from the main pot with a full house, Aces full of twos.

Uwannabet?: thought i was in kicker trouble
Mr.Fishy: Uwannabet? your chips are growing
Uwannabet?: i watered them
Mr.Fishy: haha
Uwannabet?: actually just got lucky against a better hand
RandonDude: how long have you two been going out?
Uwannabet?: hmm RandomDude you know Mr.Knowitall?
Mr.Knowitall: texas is pretty big mister
Uwannabet?: i meant from the witty response, but thanks for the geography lesson
Mr.Knowitall: no problem. on the house
Uwannabet?: lol thanks sooo much
Mr.Knowitall: you're welcome. please don't thank me anymore.
Uwannabet?: ty
Uwannabet?:oh sorry
Uwannabet?: but you're my hero Mr.Knowitall

Mr.Fishy raises [$4].
Mr.Knowitall calls [$3.75].
** Dealing Flop ** [ Qc, 8s, 9s ]
Mr.Knowitall checks.
Mr.Fishy bets [$5].
Mr.Knowitall is all-In [$54.45]
Mr.Fishy is all-In [$23.95]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 7d ]
** Dealing River ** [ 8d ]
Mr.Fishy shows [ As, Qh ] two pairs, queens and eights.
Mr.Knowitall shows [ Jd, Jh ] two pairs, jacks and eights.
Mr.Knowitall wins $25.5 from side pot #1 with two pairs, jacks and eights.
Mr.Fishy wins $63.9 from the main pot with two pairs, queens and eights.
Mr.Fishy: Mr.Knowitall was that a good call?

NiceMilitaryGuy wins $10.45 from the main pot with a straight, ten to ace.
NiceMilitaryGuy: it is about damn time!!!!
Uwannabet?: few & far between today?

Random Dude: tissue?
Uwannabet?: jackass?
Uwannabet?: Mr.Knowitall why would you want to berate someone that is giving that much action?

And the good Doctor swings by for a visit.......

DrPauly nice stack Uwannabet?
Mr.Knowitall: on tilt. just blew $60 at another table
Mr.Knowitall: set vs set
Uwannabet?: thanks Pauly
DrPauly Mr.Knowitall is on tilt? maybe i should sit
Mr.Knowitall: yeah. but i'm about to leave
Uwannabet?: he's ABC player
Uwannabet?: so Mr.Knowitall why would you want to chase fish away?
Mr.Knowitall: i didn't chase him away
Uwannabet?: but yelling at him only makes the cash leave
Uwannabet?: why chase off a fish? makes no sense
Mr.Knowitall: are you still asking the same focking question
Uwannabet?: yes
Mr.Knowitall: I DIDN'T CHASE HIM OFF!!!!!
Uwannabet?: but you could have
Mr.Knowitall: but i didn't. you could have stfu 10 minutes ago, but you didn't.
Uwannabet?: you play better than him so why risk him leaving?
Mr.Knowitall: i didn't risk XXXX. i do this all the time and no one has ever left

Net sum for the session, I more than triple up, Mr.Fishy triples up, Mr.Knowitall -2 plus buyins.
But at least he was never wrong. Why chase a fish when he is going to pay off your good hands, it just makes no sense.

save me a seat at the final table.


At 12:49 PM , Blogger Human Head said...

Awesome post. Long, but defintely worth the read. I'm gonna have to use your "I watered them" comment, funny stuff.

At 7:05 PM , Blogger Heafy said...

This is one of the best hand histories I have ever read. Just goes to show how deep "playing the player not the cards" can go. Don't tap the glass - words to live by.

At 8:34 AM , Blogger redsimon said...

How did seat 8 fold his hand preflop then bet 50cents on the river!

Dealt to Uwannabet? [ Kh As ]
Seat 8 folds.
Seat 9 calls [$0.5].
Uwannabet? calls [$0.5].
Seat 1 folds.
Seat 2 folds.
Seat 3 calls [$0.5].
Seat 4 folds.
Seat 5 folds.
Seat 6 folds.
Seat 7 checks.
Dealing River ** [ 6s ]
Seat 7 checks.
Seat 8 bets [$0.5].
Uwannabet? is all-In [$20.05]
Seat 3 folds.
Seat 7 folds.
Seat 8 folds.
Uwannabet? does not show cards.
Uwannabet? wins $22.65

At 2:48 PM , Blogger Uwannabet? said...

Thanks for catching that redsimon, I'll get it corrected.

At 2:49 PM , Blogger DuggleBogey said...

He made the worst mistake you can make at a cash NL game. When someone beats you with a fishy call, you can NEVER criticize their play, unless you are busted. Just rebuy and get your money back. It shouldn't be hard if they are constantly making fishy calls. But even if they DON'T LEAVE like Mr. Knowitall was saying, they will tighten up, even if just a little, and that is definitely -EV.

The best play is to keep your frigging mouth shut, get your money back plus.


At 3:13 PM , Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Is $1.50 a huge pre-flop raise? Wow! I must be playing the wrong game. No wonder everyone always folds to my $3 pre-flop raises.. those must be monsters.. lol.

I love arguing with the table moron. It makes my game so much better!

At 1:10 PM , Blogger redsimon said...

Loving your blog by the way.

Most of the tables I play on Party skins are sooo quiet..Just the occasional "nh",,,sincerely meant too...lol


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