Unreal

So I plop my turkey filled self down for some good ole fashioned poker at PP and decide to give the 10 NL Million Qualifier a run. For some reason the 360 participants are dropping rather quickly tonight. I think 5 were out in the first minute. I plan on folding until I can't see straight, but why do you guys let me slip into a pot with 2-2? Why? Why? Flop not a deuce in the bunch so, I go ahead and click the check/fold......holy hell a free card and bingo was his namo. A lovely, delicately shaped, mild mannered unthreatening 2 of hearts. Light Camera Action. Early position bets, 3xBB, middle position raises that 5x. OK breathe, read flop again, what the hell either one of the callers was slowplaying a monster or some poor schlub just stuck his foot in the triple deuce beartrap. I push all-in for near 1k only to get both caller to push all-in as well. Life is good, I'm against Kx and Kx, I love this country! El Zappo, thanks for playing, here please take these lovely parting gifts, and take your weak king no kicker playing buddy with you.
Now with ma in her kerchief and I in my cap I settle down for a long night of folding. Now we are only about 10 minutes into this thing and I have almost tripled up.

But that 13th minute is always a mother.....

So once again they let me slip into another pot in late position with A-8c. Hot damn I like this already the flop is 5c-As-7c it check around to me, and of course I drop a pot sized bet on the felt, fold, call (huh, a call, rut roh, this guy has busted out 2 other players and actually has me covered). In my head I think of two extremes 1) he's slowplaying A-A (ugh) or A-K (ugh) and the best part 2) he's chasing the club flush (please let it be #2 Alex).

Turn 9d. He checks and I drop another pot sized bet, only to get him to push all-in....Now I'm perplexed, hell if I get outkicked so be it, I call. only to see him flip over...
(at this point I would like you to remove all small children from the room, If you are faint of heart or do not have a tolerance for questionable content...please, please turn away now).
6-8 off, to add insult to injury the river is another A. Ugh. So here I sit bloated with turkey, staring blankly at the screen, as PP kindly reminds me that I have finished 323 out of 360.
Ugh.
Could you pass the cranberry sauce it's gonna be a long night....

save me a seat at the kids table